Wait
Where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t
Come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane
Cause when it’s going good
It’s going great
I’m Superman
With the wind in his bag
She’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad
It’s awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who’s that dude
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength
(Lyrics from Rihanna & Eminen, ‘Love the Way You Lie.’)
When the music video for the new Eminem and Rihanna single was released, the internet went mad with a debate. Does this video, staring Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan, glamorize domestic violence?
The video shows a couple in a passionate relationship that is caught in a cycle of violence, and finishes with the house literally burning down around them. The heat/passion/violence was too much… “Maybe that’s what happens, when a tornado meets a volcano?”
The song was written by Eminen who is known, in part, for his violent, tempestuous relationship with his ex-wife. Rihanna became the face of domestic abuse, when she was beaten by, her then boyfriend and fellow music star, Chris Brown, hours before a huge awards show in America. These two artists have first-hand experience of abuse, which poses the questions:
- Does this song portray both sides of a violent relationship honestly?
- Has this video, with it’s glamorous stars, ignited a debate that would never have happened otherwise?
- Or are these stars making light of a horror that threatens so many people’s every day existence?
Rihanna has said it ‘was something that needed to be done and the way he [Eminem] did it was so clever. He pretty much just broke down the cycle of domestic violence.’ Do you agree? Continue this debate in the comments below.
No matter what side of the debate you fall on, it is hard to argue that this song and video captures the never-ending cycle of violence in this relationship. Every day in an abusive relationship is not always bad, in fact there can be some really good days/moments, but that does not make it ok!
You may be reading this thinking, “Well, what happens in my house/relationship, is never as dramatic as that, so it is maybe not abuse!” How do I know if it’s happening?
All families argue, but if any of the following things are happening regularly in your home it could be domestic violence:
Physical abuse:
- hitting, kicking, pinching, biting or pushing
- throwing or smashing things
- making threats to hurt someone
Emotional abuse:
- constantly making a person feel bad about themselves
- stopping someone from seeing their friends or family constantly checking where someone is (texting or ringing them all the time)
- checking what someone spends money on and making them give the receipts
- stopping them from working or preventing them having any money
Sexual abuse:
- making someone do sexual things that they don’t want to do
- rape
(Taken from http://tiny.cc/sf9es)
If you, or someone you know, suffers from some form of domestic abuse, we would encourage you to look for some help. That might just be talking to someone about your worries and concerns. Northern Ireland’s Women’s Aid has a helpline – 0800 917 1414 or call Childline on 0800 1111 where all calls are free and confidential. Do not suffer in silence!
Maybe domestic violence is something that you have heard about but have never experienced personally. Please spend some time bringing this issue before God in prayer. Pray for girls your age who live in fear of abuse. Remember this verse from 1 Timothy 2:1, “I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people.’
Sarah
PS: One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute. That is 1,440 reports of abuse a day, 10,080 a week and 524,160 a year! (Factoid from http://tiny.cc/st6o3) Domestic violence affects an awful lot of people!
PPS: Come back next week to read ‘Love the way you lie? Part Two,’ the second of our blogs on domestic abuse.